Friends Leave, but You’re Still You.

I don’t think I’ll ever be one to understand people who ghost others. I don’t think my natural level of empathy will ever allow me to parallel the numbness it takes to leave the lives of others with no warning or explanation. I love the way I care for others and give my all in every type of relationships I create. But it does make it that much harder when others cease doing the same.

Caring for your loved ones with all of you is hard. It’s emotionally taxing. Being the friend who is always there. Who supports in every situation. Who takes on the emotional burdens of others in order to help. It’s a wonderful privilege to be this friend, but it’s trying at times. The reward of being an altruistic human and friend is the happiness you see in others. Witnessing the joy, growth, and wellness of my loved ones has always been all it takes to warm my heart. Finding friends and a tribe so genuine in return is challenging at times. But when you do find and build those friendships, they are magnificent. I’m forever grateful for the ones who have shown me that.

They say that the worst kind of breakups are friend breakups. They’re right. Even when they’re subtle and unannounced. Friends that suddenly don’t reciprocate the efforts and the love you pour into the friendship, they’re the ones that hurt you more than anyone. I truly don’t believe it’s ever intentional of one to hurt another or make someone question their worth. But when you show up for someone, when you love selflessly, and lose another without warning, it’s hard not to question yourself. It’s difficult not to look in the mirror and question what you did wrong. But you can’t search for faults. I will never regret the things I’ve given and done for others. Showing up for every special event. Offering comfort and support whenever I knew how. Defending and protecting them when needed. That’s who I am as a friend and I will never want to undo any of that. Those I’ve given my best to deserved it for a reason I won’t ever take back. I will always care for them, even when they’ve chosen not to for me any longer.

People may walk in and out of lives for many reasons, usually unknown, but it won’t change me for who I am. While losing friends and those you care for may hurt like hell, I aspire to continue being the person and friend I’ve always been to others.